X

Intimacy

Pondering intimacy, I want to underline how it is important to remain stable in relation facing with some rejection. Ability to absorb the one. Ability to absorb diversity of another person. Maybe gradual acceptance of rejection.
Eventually, it's about maturity, individual inner support, longing for understanding your partner, relationship value.
Rejection is one of the most awful fear inherited from the childhood and it is connected to the most significant figures(parents, teachers, etc) whom people weren't supported (emotionally accepted) by while were little kids. Meanwhile, kids needed support as never because of their vulnerability. One of essential request is to express your emotions and be acknowledged by these significant figures, it means stay safe doing this.
Thus kids needed support to know that it's possible and normal way to live but sometimes emotions could be prohibited(generally, negative emotions, but positive could be too) due to different reasons. For instance, some statements: "Good kids" should, should and should,...Some marker how to be good. "Good boys" never cry, "Good girls" should cooking, etc. Kids survived keeping these rules as they could only do, have taken psychological skill that it's bad to show who you really are. They acquired fear that they could be rejected with all their real emotions. It can't be safe = dangerous for life and this was like a fear of death.
So this pattern was strongly kept in mind and fear coming back again and again calling to play the same scenario. The common way is to escape from possible risk and avoid rejection in advance..avoid to be in a full contact showing your real emotions.
As outcome of all I told above, we investigated that rejection can be perfectly reflected at the further life as introject, projection, egotism.
The one way, for me of course, is honest way to be yourself..to be with another person.
Keep distance than approach..and so on..
Feel yourself, express your emotions.
Vulnerability is the most rare treasure we can offer our partner and yourself even having rejection. This works for both so you never know..but this is about true intimacy..
Sometimes it takes a lot of time, but it worth trying..and it's only your choice.
Anyway, this is difficult but the most beautiful way of intimacy that ever could be. I know ;)
Чтобы написать комментарий, войдите на сайт под своим именем